Know your niche, when it comes to career bartending

The title of this article could perhaps be interpreted as a reworking of my favorite maxim from antiquity "know thyself". That's not far off from the truth -- however, it also needs to be stated that Tim Ferris of 4-Hour Work Week fame has repeatedly presented the concept of being aware of and reaching out to niche communities you belong in. This is something that you can apply to almost any serious avenue in your life. With all that being said, take a step back and consider that a couple of ways you can improve the direction of your bartending and hospitality career (or any career really) is to employ self-promotion campaigns in niche communities to which you belong.

I use this photo on all of my bartending and hospitality
related social media. The weird glasses make me easy to
remember, and also using the same photo makes it so
I'm easier to recognize between social media accounts.

The Vancouver mixology and foodie community is perhaps the most relevant thing that comes to mind, for me, and as such, I run a strategic foodie Instagram account, and this blog. Like Tim Ferris, I try to take part in three communities, however I'm a bit lazy with the third -- which happens to be Yelp. Through these online communities I have made a number of connections; expanding my network and finding new opportunities that don't just present themselves to the quiet bartender who doesn't seek out community. Having these different online tools which I can point to from my resume has done me a considerable amount of good as well -- this blog is a written record of my thoughts, goals, and aspirations. It proves how serious and passionate I am about my work, and shows that I not only take my work home with me, but I really go through that extra bit of effort to break down and analyze things. My Instagram similarly functions as a picture proof record about my passion for all things food and drink -- it's a catalog of my food adventures, and a personal showcase what I'm doing as far as mixology.

How to find a job in travel.

I've taken a lot of excellent photos at the Union, and shared
them on Instagram, Yelp and Twitter. Businesses always
appreciate when you promote them on your social media.
And now the Union is going to know that I mentioned them
in a blog post too!

That niche is pretty obvious though, and for some people it might be too obvious, to the point that they've already been going through the motions in a similar way. It doesn't hurt to take a step back and analyze other areas that you find yourself passionate in -- even if they don't seem to be relevant or beneficial at first. Using another personal example as a case study; I'm a huge fan of Pokemon. I take part in the local Pokemon Go community, having made a number of good friends through Pokemon. I also play Pokemon on the Twitch streaming service, where I've made connections with people in different cities and countries. And thirdly, I remix Pokemon music which I share on Soundcloud and YouTube. 

Find ways to mix and match your niches too. I'm not the
only foodie in Vancouver who is a fan of Pokemon.

The relevance of all this may seem nominal to someone looking to expand their hospitality horizons, however, let's think a bit deeper about it. First of all, think back to the earlier example, where I said I have online records to prove how passionate I am about bartending. Well, now, if I were to apply for a nerd or gamer bar job, I would have a number of things which I could point to on a resume crafted for that position as well. Furthermore, you never know what kind of people you're going to meet in these communities -- there are a number of hospitality professionals in the groups I frequent, who would go out of their way to be a reference for me if I were to apply at their restaurant. The name of the game here is "networking". Every interaction you have is some form of potential networking; it's just a matter of whether you can see the network value or not -- maybe the person you're talking to isn't directly associated with what you're trying to achieve... however, you can almost be guaranteed that they have some connections somewhere.

One stop home and business writing kit.

This has nothing to do with anything, but I usually post funny
captions under photos. This article is severely lacking
funny quips....

The last thing regarding niches, that I wanted to talk about, is your niche as a bartender. Now, I can go into a whole separate article about this, so I'm just going to touch on it at this point in time. What's your thing? Are you a sports bar gal or guy? A mixologist? A beertender? Do you want to stay in that niche? Do you want to move into another one? Are you trying to get more experience in one area so you can bring it back to another, later? These are all questions you should think about regarding your niche as a provider of libations and imbibement. Know your niche -- but more than that, know what you want to get out of it.

Drinking your meal -- an introduction to food in cocktails

Milestones dipped its hands into the "Caesar
with a whole lot of crap on it," market.
Sadly, it is already off the menu!

The "Caesar with a whole bunch of crap on it" trend is beginning to wane -- the novelty is wearing off, and the competition to pair a Caesar up with the most ridiculous garnishes is not as trendy as it once was. Nevertheless, Caesars are still Canada's staple cocktail (although, I have complained about that at length.) One of the takeaways from this trend could perhaps be novelty of solid food in cocktails. Without further ado, this article will be yet another vague response to novel trends!

Caesars are not the only drink to commonly feature solid food particles. There are of course, the two very obvious classics; the Martini and the Manhattan, both of which are commonly garnished with edible food. There is also a tendency to put intricate lemon, orange or lime twists on the rim, or directly into the glass. While not edible per se, they are still solid food particles which alter the quality of the drink. However, I won't discuss these zesty twists TOO much here, simply because I to focus more on edible solids in this article.

A dirty Martini. I gotta be real with you.
I'm not a fan of dirty Martinis. However,
I had a lot of fun making a little
asparagus raft on this one!

Being that I'm not really a fan of dirty Martinis, I would shy away from them in the first place. However, drinks of this quality that feature olive or pickle juice do give the opportunity to get a little bit creative in the same way that you would with a Caesar; ie. loading it up with pickled goodies. This is great for the type of people who drink dirty Martinis -- they generally aren't connoisseurs of spirit, which is why they want to mix it down with the olive juice in the first place. While they obviously do have a certain level of appreciation that falls somewhere closer to the "most interesting Man in the world" end of the spectrum, there is an indication that they would appreciate fancy garnishes.

Fruity cocktails also give a good opportunity to add edible foods; namely fruit! I've seen drinks garnished with almost any kind of fruit you can imagine. Seriously, even a lot of those esoteric ones (although, I've yet to see a durian or jackfruit cocktail....) Strawberries, lychee, and orange are all easy options to include in fruit flavored cocktails. But really, if you tend towards more exotic fruits like Dragonfruit, Starfruit, or Papaya, you can generally create a more unique cocktail, and also get practice pairing with more uncommon flavors.

Love the addition of Lychee, in this
Lychee '75.

There are quite a bit more things you can do with food in cocktails too. A common trend a few years ago was to mix foods into different syrups, which had quickly evolved into the infusion of solid foods in spirits. For the last year or so, using solid food directly in the cocktails has really taken off though. While I've only briefly touched on the topic in this article, there is really quite a bit to talk about on this subject, and there will be future articles about different ways to incorporate solid foods in your drinks.

Learning From Asian Non-Alc Drinks and Mocktails

My Icy Berry Cocktail. Exploding with
a molecular Port foam.

It's no small secret that I'm somewhat of a sinophile -- everyone around me knows it, and most people familiar with my writing or online work know about it too. I'm always looking for ways to integrate what I like about Far Eastern cultures with what I like about the west. The countries of the Far East have a fairly broad non-alc beverage culture, which we simply don't experience to the same degree here in North America. With the exception of course, of Asian bubble tea cafes, or similar. While we do have a fairly strong coffee and tea culture, we simply do not experience the broadness of variety that Asian cafes do.

Alcohol Free Forever (tm) - Revamped For 2017 + $75 Bonus!

A pitcher of watermelon flavored cocktail, served
in at a Japanese Izakaya restaurant in Vancouver, called Suika.

Mocktails at most western restaurants are fairly limited as well -- virgin Caesars, virgin Mojitos, virgin Coladas, and Shirley Temples. My opinion about many of these drinks is already littered all over this blog, but perhaps I have been just a little bit too harsh. They are all attempting to emulate the experience of cocktailing, but just happen to mostly fail miserably at it. Of course, my point of contention has always partially been the over the top fruitiness or lack of depth created by alcohol -- that alcohol free drinks should not be created as just the same thing minus the booze. That last point is also why I've gone through quite a bit of trial and error to craft different types of alcohol free mojitos, that stand on their own, or have a distinct character separate from a real Mojito.

Some kind of 'Lattea' something or other, at the
Taiwanese Pearl Castle Cafe in Burnaby, British Columbia.
The foam layer is quite thick, and rich.

There are a few dimensions to these Asian drinks that I try to emulate from time to time:

• The inclusion of solid ingredients, such as tapioca, grass jelly or barley.
• The mixing of nonstandard ingredients, such as coffee and tea.
• The coordination of bright or contrasting colours, with exploding garnishes.

As somewhat of a classicists, or prohibition cocktail snob, these points can be a bit of a hassle for me to wrap my head around. Nevertheless I have done quite a bit of experimenting in the realms of mixology and molecular gastronomy, with an eye toward Asian styles. What I've been having even more trouble with is trying to hybridize classic cocktail styles with the above principles.

Oolong Milk Tea with Grass Jelly, from Mr. Mustache in
Vancouver. In the words of Trump, "The Best!"

I would also like to take a step back from trying to emulate those points in proper cocktails, and return to mocktails. Mocktails are often boring, bland, or at best two dimensional. There is a lot to be learned from the multi-dimensionality of the bubble tea culture. Perhaps that last statement will make some laugh, however, I think it holds true.

13 Over Rated Cocktails

People seemed to enjoy my last article like this, where I dissed popuoar cocktails, and wrote in a cynical and pretentious voice. Not being one to disappoint the 'fans' (rather, being out of activity for awhile and needing to bolster my readership...) I present to you my newest article regarding popular drinks that are over rated!

There are a number of popular cocktails that pop up fairly often for those of us working the wood. Some of us have gotten a handle for making drinks we can't stand, or making drinks that we know just aren't that good; but boy howdy are they sure popular! This list is an examination of some of those cocktails.

13. Margarita

Mexican Bulldogs are kind of cool though...

I'm putting our favorite tequila cocktail at the bottom of this list because they actually aren't all THAT bad. At the same time, however, they also aren't all that good. I can't knock people who like them too badly because there aren't all that many tequila cocktails in the lime light (pun intended), and tequila is a pretty hard thing to get into. Considering how bad the low priced products are and how hard it is for a lot of people to get past their initial experience of taking shots and immediately washing the taste away with a bite of lime and a lick of salt, most people just don't know what to do with tequila. That said, in my opinion the only thing to do with a good tequila is to drink it straight and neat. As for a bad tequila... well, make margaritas I suppose.

12. Dirty Martini

A proper Martini. Black and White...
err, no olive juice.

For all of the known world, Martinis are a passion of pleasure. Except for those whom they aren't. For those dregs, there are Dirty Martinis. You may recognize this rare breed of slack jawed yokles by their familiar statement that "the olive juice is the best part!" Oh, how they couldn't be more mistaken. The olive juice is so not the best part of a good Martini, that it in fact is not part of a good Martini at all! Think about it. Do you consume anything else labeled as 'dirty'? Dirty cottage cheese, for example? Or perhaps you're more in the mood for a dirty Big Mac. Or maybe a dirty Bratwurst is more up your.... alley?

11. Frozen Bellini

That's me, apparently bowing at my adoring customers.

Here in Vancouver, where the frozen bellini was imagined years ago by a young Milestones restaurant, frozen bellinis are the only bellinis. During my tenure at Milestones, I had many a first time bellini consumer order their first bellini and say something along the lines of "This is great! It tastes like a Slurpee with alcohol!" That alone should be enough to persuade people of its cheesiness. Nevertheless it somehow became super popular and is now available at every casual fine dining experience in Canada (I don't know if that's true, but knowing the tastes of my countrymen it would not surprise me). Oh and don't forget the monkey toy that goes on top! Christ...

Hey! I have an idea! Let's add coke to everything!

10. Anything and Coke

I've ranted extensively about high balls in the past, and of course I'm doing it again! If you call them Cuba Libre or Fernet con Coca, you can probably get away with it, otherwise, high balls are just a crying shame. The moment you add that coke to the spirits, it is now a complete was of good alcohol. While I can appreciate that most people can't palate alcohol, adding an obscene amount of high calorie carbonated syrup water isn't the solution!

9. Screwdriver

The sane world calls them vodka and orange juice. Those of us who got left behind call it the Screwdriver. It's the de facto go to cocktail that people who don't know any cocktails always turn to. There's nothing special about them, and it basically just tastes like bad orange juice. I think we all need to ask ourselves, if it didn't get you drunk, would you put anything that tastes like that in your mouth? Maybe I'm crazy for thinking they taste as bad as they do, or maybe I'm biased for some other reason, but in my humble opinion.... Screwdrivers are garbage! Next!

This golden piece of awesome is the yuppiest drink
on the planet.

8. Old Fashioned

Being that I quite like the Old Fashioned, this will either come across as hypocritical, or show that I'm just as willing to criticize my own tastes. While quite delicious, the Old Fashioned has become the centerpiece of hipsters, or people trying to broadcast to the world how sophisticated and trendy they are. Yes, both sophisticated and trendy at the same time! Who'd have thunk? If you're friends with "The Old Fashioned Guy", then you've probably seen him push the classic on everybody and anybody he drinks with. As for "The Old Fashioned Lady", there's nothing wrong with her. Keep doing what you're doing Old Fashioned Lady.

Presentation is bang on, though.

7. Strawberry Daiquiri

Of course this drink is much more detestable in its blended form, although it does taste good, that is besides the point. Ultimately, and similarly to the Bellini, you can't tell that this is an adult drink. There are a number of virgin drinks out there for alcohol haters. Slurpees. Bubble teas. Even Shirley Temples. But leave the rum out of it for the love of all that is good and holy!

6. Caesar

Blegh... Boring. Find a new national drink, Canada!

One of the few "you have to know" cocktails in order to bartend in Canada. This is Canada's cocktail. I'll also admit, that despite being so high on the list, I do not find Caesars to be absolutely detestable. That being said, there is a proper time and place for a caesar, and that time or place is not any time, all the time. It's not a party drink, it's not a dinner drink, it's not any other type of drink than a refreshing hangover drink to have with your hangover meal. Okay okay, sometimes.... SOMETIMES they aren't too bad on a hot day, but this goes back to the point that they're not an any time drink, and if you have more than one you're going to smell like Tabasco and Worcestershire sauce. And furthermore, it grinds my gears when people call it a bloody, or spicy caesar. They're all spicy, and they aren't the same as a Bloody Mary!

5. Pina Colada

A little bit of cinnamon can brighten up a Pina Colada.

I've got two Pina Cola.... no I don't! No Pina Coladas for you! Okay, so this should not come as a surprise to anyone who's been reading this list. Pina Coladas, and anything like a Pina Colada is not my cup of tea. Coconut syrup, really? I have two far better tiki drinks to steer you towards. Painkillers and Mai Tais. Seriously, you can still get your tiki on without the gross syrup. Painkillers are basically a Pina Colada's grown up brother. And neither drink ever makes sense blended. And by the way, if you hadn't noticed, blended drinks are not my thing.

Actually, this one isn't even that popular.
I strongly dislike it though!

4. Sex on the Beach

It basically tastes like candy, and aside from the vodka it basically is just candy. If drinking candy is
your thing, that's fine. The Tipsy Bartender has an audience of millions because of cocktails made out of candy, after all. Personally, I think it's gross. It's just another of those cocktails that scream "grooooow up!" And seriously, Sex on the Beach? What about the name fits the flavor profile? Almost any cocktail would be more fitting of the name. "Oh let's go to the beach and eat fuzzy peaches!" That's basically the closest thing I can imagine this drink being named to "Sex on the Beach".

3. Holy Water

Garbage. Just total garbage. The worst part about this is, I worked in a bar where this was literally the most popular chick drink. Now-a-days, I've noticed that girls generally have much more classier taste buds than boys, and the usual stereotypes of manly drinks and womanish drinks can actually be flip flopped, to more accurately reflect the genders. Come to think of it, a lot of guys used to order these too. Things sure are different bartending in the hinterland, where everyone is white trash and drinks Sex in the City drinks, regardless of gender. Red sour puss, blue curacao and 7 up. Sounds like purple drank to me.

2. Long Island Iced Tea

Who are we trying to kid? Long Islands look like shit.

Seriously, what is even the point? Four types of clear spirits and triple sec with lime and coke. Pretty sure you could substitute the spirits with anything at this point and not tell the difference. People are so particular about this crap drink too. And of course, it's just a gimmick to sell that cheap Long Island mix that comes in a plastic bottle. But it doesn't even taste good! Is that really what you're craving? An overpriced heinz 57 mixture of alcohol with lime juice and coke? What a waste of money!

1. Spiced Rum and Coke

My hate of high balls brings this drink to the top, despite that "anything and coke" is already an entry. One time while I was gig bartending, a double spiced rum and coke came up. I made it and the guest brought it back complaining it wasn't spiced rum so I gave the rum and coke separately when I sent it back out. Half an hour later, the same fucking thing happens with the same guy! What the hell! Sadly, this is just how spiced rum dorks are, all the time. This loser was just bent out of shape because we used Sailor Jerry's, which is 10 percent higher abv, meaning he could taste the alcohol. Since its a little bit stronger, he thought it tasted too much like real rum. Pussy.

Wouldn't you much rather have a drink like this, than a spiced rum and coke?

Honorable Mention

Hot Toddy

The only reason I don't list this is because I don't even consider this to be a thing. To my understanding, a hot toddy is a loose idea of mixing citrus, tea and spirits, which just happens to be a specific drink here in Vancouver (or wherever else). If you order one here, you'll likely get a blended Scotch, red rose tea and lemon. If you order one from me, I'll probably ask you very specifically how you want it prepared. What kind of tea, for starters. And well, I'll actually assume you want Scotch, but in a better world I would not have to assume! So I guess I'll only really ask you to specify the tea, but still!

9 Cocktails You Should Know in Vancouver

Cocktail culture is booming in Vancouver. Much like many metropolitan areas in the United States, it's pulling from a number of already established cultures of yore. New Orleans, the classic prohibition era, and tiki. For this reason I've decided to put together a list of the cocktails that you have to know in order to survive bartending in Vancouver. There won't be any paralyzers, Pina coladas or strawberry daiquiris on this list (however, it doesn't hurt to know these things anyway).

9. The Shirley Temple

Since I don't approve of Shirley Temples,
here's a Tequila Martini!

Let's get something straight at the onset here. I hate making Shirley Temples. They're essentially a child's drink that's made out to be a cocktail. And, parents being the responsible jerks that they are want to expose their children to cocktail culture in virgin form. Traditionally, it's orange juice, 7 up, and grenadine. But it also normally gets the disgusting maraschino cherry topper, skewered through an orange wheel or something. I hope you're wearing gloves because those cherries will stain your fingers.

Try twisting it up by giving an adult take on the famous virgin drink. A dash of orange flavored bitters, and swapping the 7 up with club soda will do you a world of good. Also do something like 4 times as much soda than orange juice, instead of the regular half and half. As for the grenadine.... well it sort of makes the drink, but pom will also give it an interesting look and flavor. When topping with garnish throw away your crap cherries and opt for real cherries from the produce department, and some orange zest.

8. Frozen Margaritas

So I gotta say... Mexican Bulldogs...
So awesome.

As a hot tourist destination, due in part to the lovely Vancouver beaches, margaritas are a tourist favorite. I have to say though, it is a bit weird because it never really gets all that hot in Vancouver, and people tend to prefer them in the frozen variety. I for one prefer them shaken, but since this list is not about my prefeerence, I recommend you get used to making them.

A normal margarita gets an ounce and a half of tequila and half an ounce of triple sec. I should add here that Grand Marnier works better, though it is pricy. Again, the standard is two ounces of lime juice and an ounce of simple syrup, and then you can blend using some ice cubes. If you opt to blend, make sure to add more ice as you go until you get a desired consistency. You can also try substituting the sweet and sour mix by pureeing various fruits, like banana, pinapple, or even kiwi, and throwing In different types of syrup, such as coconut or passionfruit.

7. The Cosmopolitan

That Cosmo! This one actually has Litchi in it, so
it's not totally my kind of thing.

What's a little sex in the city without a Cosmopolitan? And as ashamed as I am to be ashamed make to ask that question there's no shame in being able to make ashamed make a good cosmo. A lot of restaurants and bars of their own take on the cosmo, where they add their own little twist. Usually this something along the lines of using blue curacao to make the drink purple, or adding some random infused vodka. I don't recommend straying from the original though, unless you come up with something truly ground breaking.

A cosmo is quite simple. An ounce and a half of vodka and half of triple sec, an ounce of each lime juice, simple syrup and cranberry juice, shake, strain, garnish and voila! And if you were expecting a way to twist it up, like the previous cocktails you can forget about it.... well okay, the blue curacao thing isn't bad, and there are ways to make this cocktail work using grapefruit juice. But that's all you'll get from me!

6.The Martini

This is a Martini. Note: no bullshit.

Just like every other half classy city in the world, the Martini makes the list. There's nothing complicated here, and if I was hesitant to offer a twist on the Cosmopolitan, it goes doubly so with the Martini. Hell, I don't even like to use vodka in my Martinis, opting for the original gin version. And of course, weaker tongue individuals will have their dirty versions, but I'll stick to the standard.

The original martini calls for an ounce and a half of gin, and a half an ounce of dry vermouth.  I prefer to stir mine, but they're okay shaken as long as one double strains to compensate for ice chunks. And then there's the ever famed muddled ice martini, in the style of Bruno, bartender of Zam Zam and San Francisco bartending fame. It tastes no different than any other martini, but I have to say there's something more rewarding about making a martini this way. Perhaps it's all in the fact that by doing so, I'm doing something that so few others do?

5. The Manhattan

How can you have a list with the martini on it, and not the Manhattan? Well save for a gin cocktails you have to know list, anyway. The Manhattan is often referred to as the Martini of rye whiskey. I don't like to think of it that way, but I will grant that it's a pretty good comparison.

This is how I like my Manhattans. Pretty awesome, right?

The traditional methods of drinking this cocktail called for it on the rocks, and some people still like to do it that way, though, the popular method is to put it in a Martini, which fully realizes the false equivalency that this is a Martini with rye. Being that this is a whiskey cocktail, I readily scoff at the prospect of putting this in a flared rim glass. Whiskey has a delicate and pleasant nose, which needs to be funneled by the likes of an wine glass, glencairn or brandy glass. For the Manhattan though I prefer to use a snifter. I find that it has the perfect volume for the way I like them.

An ounce and a half of rye, half an ounce of sweet vermouth and a few dashes of Angostura bitters. Like the Martini, I prefer it stirred and then strained. But no maraschino cherries for this one. Stick to lemon or orange peel, to complement the rye. Or if you're particularly daring, you can brandy marinate your own cherries. Don't be afraid to try different bitters and vermouth. While Martini rosso is a quality product, Cinzano or Punt E Mes can be even better.

4. The French 75

This French 75 was made using Earl Grey infused Gin.

I was debating even including this one, instead, opting to out the Mimosa on the list. I mean who are we kiddinf? Mimosas are better known and more popular than the French 75. But since this list is going on a stylish streak, I'm just gonna assume everyone knows what goes into a Mimosa, but not necessarily a French 75. In reality, the reason I included this is because I see it as being similar but superior to the mimosa. Not necessarily because to absolutely HAVE to know what it is. That said, brunch is very popular in Vancouver,  and I most definitely encourage you to move your guests away from their Sunday Spumante and orange juice.

It's a similar kind of cocktail as the mimosa, calling for sparkling wine. The popular,  and affordable way is to choose a California Prossecco, but traditionally they are a French creation, and Champagne is the preferred method, if you can stomach using Champagne in a cocktail. Add an ounce of gin and half an ounce of triple sec with some lemon juice and a bit of simple syrup. Shake to your heart's content, and then strain into a flute before topping with your bubbly. I recommend garnishing with a long twirled lemon spiral zest.

3. Mojito

I have to tell you guys... a spiced rum Mojito is pretty
off the balls awesome.

This is another cocktail where I'm going to urge you to stick with the traditional recipe. But in all honesty, different versions of the Mojito can work real well, as long as there's no extra sugar added. Read: no packaged purees! There are also ways to make a Mojito into a delicious beer cocktail, which I'll have room elaborate sometime in another post.

For a true Mojito start off by muddling a healthy handful of mint with a bit of granulated sugar. The mint is the most important flavor of this cocktail, so make sure it's good quality! No black spots, or soggy leaves here!

Next add two ounces of white rum, an ounce of lime juice and an ounce of simple syrup and shake. Pour into a Collins glass and top with soda water to finish your concoction. If you're going to opt for the popular raspberry Mojito, I'd recommend muddling real raspberries with the mint, and using Bacardi Black Razz.

2. The Old Fashioned

I like my Old Fashioned to be indistinguishable
from my Manhattans. Big whoop?! Wanna fight
about it?!

The cocktail that started it all I guess. This is your go to for enjoying a good bourbon, and possibly the most popular classic cocktail in Vancouver. There's a lot of debate about what a true Old Fashioned was like in its time, but the most reliable sources say the four constituent ingredients are sugar, water, bitters and whiskey.

I've written about this one before,  and you can get the full story there. As for how to prepare it? Take a teaspoon of sugar, or a sugar cube, pour a few dashes of Angostura bitters onto it, add a teaspoon of water and stir to your heart's content. Or, rather, stir till the sugar is fully devolved. And two ounces of whiskey and your done. The familiar ice and orange zest are optional.  Personally I prefer mine neat, with a lemon zest. It should also be noted that you can enjoy an Old Fashioned with pretty much any spirit that isn't neutral flavored.

1. The Caesar

Note: A good caesar can be an entire meal!

I'm going to be honest with you. I wasn't sure whether to even put this in the list. It sort of goes without saying that every bartender needs to know how to make a Caesar. But I suppose that this cocktail essentially wraps up the cocktail culture of Canada, it has to be done. Whether you do it or not at your bar, that's totally up to the owners I suppose (there are places that refuse to make them).

Rim a glass with celery salt, and an ounce of vodka, a few dashes of Tabasco and Worcestershire sauce, fill with clamato juce and garnish with whatever ridiculous machinations you can come up with.

And there you have it.


Honorable mention: the Negroni.

In truth I prefer the Negroni to both of the gin cocktails on this list. That being said, this is a list for the masses! The Negroni is still a drink of the niche sophisticated croud.

This is not just any Negroni... it's a Negroni Spagliato! Basically that means I topped a Negroni with Spumante.

How not to drink espresso

Before I get started, I want to caveat the premise of my post with the usual ego deflating explanation. People like what they like. I can't tell them that what they like is wrong, but nevertheless, there are certain things I can't stand, and I believe that if the person knew what I knew, they would do things differently. So, with my own self admitted judginess laid bare for what it is, I just want to reiterate that it even though I react this way, I don't think there's anything wrong with people liking what they like, and if anything I'm the one who should be shamed, for being so particular and narcissistic.

With all that said, the skinny latte crowd really grind my gears.

I can appreciate a good espresso coffee. I like Americanos, and Cappuccino, and although Lattes aren't my thing, I can appreciate and respect them for what they are. That said, if you're watching your weight - like a lot of us, including myself - a skinny latte isn't going to help you much. And it also tastes like shit. If you're really that desperate to cut back on your liquid calories, how about you just go for the superior tasting and lower calorie Cappuccino, or, better yet, you can be a normal grown up and get a regular coffee.

Coffee shop millionaire.

Then there's decaf, which for as much as I dislike the idea or taking the drug out of our favorite caffeine delivery method, I can still understand it. Coffee tastes good. You want to give up the stimulant and still have your coffee. So what on Earth is there for me to complain about it if I can understand why it's a thing?

Decaf Americanos. What's the point? just get a regular decaf drip coffee for half the price. One of the key differences between espresso and regular drip coffee is that it's supposed to be more concentrated in flavor, but turning it into a regular coffee, ala the Americano essentially gives you a lower caffeine option to drip coffee, without giving up the caffeine entitely. The moment you opt for a decaf Americano, you're destroying everything that makes espresso preferable to regular coffee in the first place. There's something our there for you decaf Americano fans. It's half the price, for the same volume, gives you the same results and it goes by the name decaf coffee. Anything else and you're just paying for the image of being someone who orders espresso drinks. Espresso is supposed to be associated with a certain quality of flavor. Not pretentiousness.

And while we're on the topic of decaf, so you know what else grinds my gears?! People who order decaf and then load it up with sugar. Normally people give up caffeine because they're trying to get rid of the dependence on a stimulant. So it's perplexing when they replace the stimulating effect of caffeine with the stimulating effect of sugar, which, on top of giving you a sugar high, can also have other notable effects on your health, the least of which being, it contributes to weight gain. So it's the same as caffeine, but it also contributes to ruining your teeth, messed up blood sugar levels, and making you fat.

Okay okay. Maybe they still want their coffee to taste palatable without having caffeine, right? Well I'm going to start by saying grow the fuck up and drink your coffee black, or, if that's not an option, use splenda, vanilla, or cocoa to flavor your coffee. Seriously, those are all good no calorie options that most coffee shops have available.

*sigh*

The language of attraction!

With all that out of the way, if you still want to drink coffee in the way that I claim is asinine, then have at it Hoss. One irritable bartender who disagrees with the Burger King slogan "Have it your way", trying to alter everything on every menu shouldn't dictate what and how you drink. Ultimately you know what you like better than anyone else.

Career Bartending Part 2; Make a Manga Resume Using the Instamag App

In my last article about resumes, I talked about how to develop skills, and show a level of professionalism that'll help you stand out in a sea of flashy smiles and rocket scientists (okay... maybe not that last one...) This time, I'm going to guide you to the realm of putting your resume out on Social Media, or how to use Social Media to make an attention grabbing resume. Specifically, I'll be looking at how to make a resume using the Instamag app for Android and iOS.

This is one of the icons for Instamag.
Am I the only one who sees a creepy
robot eye?

Instamag is a pretty cool app, designed for taking a series of photos and turning them into a magazine. You can use any number of the built in templates to create different styles of gimmicky magazine resumes, but I decided to start with the Manga template. Why did I go with this template? Because it conveys a number of things about me that I want to be communicated in my resume. First of all, I am a geek, and I love geek culture, which extends to both comic books, and Japanese pop culture. You may think that this sort of mind set clashes with all the hoopla I raised about professionalism in my last post, but that's a grave mistake. I'm communicating my creativity, and my ability to think outside of the box, and also setting a standard for what kind of person I am, and will continue to be in my career. It also continues on the train of thought of trying to get into your ideal working situation, hopefully, by surrounding yourself with like minded individuals.

If I could make this image my resume, I would.
This image contains I want you to know about me!
Incidentally,
it also communicates nothing about me.

Once you select this particular template, you can continue by adding 3 to 7 photos, per page. For text portions, I took screen shots of stylized text in various documents, and took a screenshot of my personal website (thomasgoodine.com), and set them up on two pages. I also added some photos of cocktails I've made, which shows some proof of my ability to bartender. It can sometimes be weird attaching a photo of you behind the wood, but in a picture heavy resume like this, it's perfectly normal. Well, as normal as normal gets in a manga resume, anyway.

I also included one screen cap from Archer, which may be a little bit risque; I decided to roll with it in this version of the resume, anyway, but beware of using humor like this. It can cause a lot of damage to your efforts. This particular image contains a scene in Archer, with a screen cap "Sour mix? In a Margarita? What is this, Auschwitz!" Hilarious to me. Perhaps hilarious to you. Not necessarily hilarious to Mr. Finkelstein. Heck, it would be downright offensive to a lot of people who either don't agree with, or care about the context. Use images like this with caution!

If the person reading your resume is a fan of Sterling Archer, this could go over very well.
Or not.

Another thing that makes Instamag's Manga templates great is that you can add stickers and speech bubbles. In this way, I can narrate certain images in my resume to portray my voice, and add yet another level of humor. You may be scratching your head and asking why to use so much humor when you're trying to look professional. Well, it's simple, really. If you can make someone laugh - not at your misery, but at your sense of humor and ability to make light of yourself - then you are speaking to their heart and soul in some ways. Taking yourself seriously is pretty important, but if you take yourself too seriously all the time, you'll just seem like a stuck-up douchebag. Who wants to hire that guy or gal?

New - Amazing Resumes!

This is one of the few still photos of
me bartending. It's not the greatest photo,
so I'm not shy to make a point of making
fun of myself.

When you come up with a template that you like, save it to your Google Drive (or whatever the hell cloud service you're using to back up your stuff) and circulate it to your personal computer. Make a long version of your manga by using an application like GIMP, and then upload it to Pinterest, with appropriate keywords. Take various screen caps from your resume and post them to your Instagram, completing the resume over time. Make sure that when you do this, you leave information for how to get in contact with you, such as your e-mail address, your personal website address, or your LinkedIn page. You can also add your resume to that blog I told you to make last time. Sort of like how I'm adding my resume here.

Lastly, don't forget to network with people on these various social networking services, or contact people from your existing network and ask them to take a look at your resume. Don't be afraid to get an opinion about the resume from your former bosses or references. Ask them if they'd hire you if they got a resume like that, and if not, ask them where you went wrong.

Entitlement has got to go

Being entitled to certain luxuries is a fad that never dies, it seems. All generations do it, from all walks of life and all cultures. As a bartender I have a front row seat to different levels of entitlement from both the end of the customer and from the staff. I recently read an article that implied guests who are more well dressed are better customers, which I could not disagree with more. From time to time I've seen memes pertaining to the hospitality industry floating around on Facebook, such as tip jars with "the more you tip the better your service" taped to them. On the other hand I believe most of us are at least familiar with the awful people who leave messages on the receipt when they have a homosexual server, as if, whether it's a lifestyle choice or not, being a customer to a person entitles you to leave discriminating comments that can completely ruin someone's day.

It's got to stop, but I honestly don't know how to make it stop. I would suggest that one Avenue of defense, on the side of the industry would be to take a firm stance and refuse to give service to people, but the truth is I know where that sort of attitude might lead. I don't want every restaurant and bar to have the same sort of air of arrogance floating around the staff like most night clubs or dive bars, where the mantra is along the lines of "the customer's always wrong". Maybe it would be easier for waitstaff to play nice if entitlement disappeared altoghether, but again, we're all mature enough to know that utopian paradises do not exist.

Keep your wits about you, and stay positive!

Referring back to the article I mentioned in the earlier paragraph, the writer says regarding dressing up 'There are eight billion reasons why you should do this, but a well-groomed and well dressed man with a smile says to a bartender, “Hey, I am not going to be an asshole”'. I don't know in what context this came out of, but I could not disagree more. Time and time again, I've had unkempt people be absolutely delightful, polite and generous with tips, or well presented people be absolute jerks. The reverse has also been true, and I'll be the first to say the old adage to never judge a book by its cover is one of the truest metaphors I've ever known. I understand the temptation of wanting to believe that there's a way to pin people as having a certain personality, but looking at someone's style is not that way. Treat everyone the same the first time you meet them, and form your opinion of them based on that. Have your wits about you, and if someone's personality seems a bit off, just try your best to work around it. Some customers can turn around if you improve their day or night, others need to be dealt with in a more firm manner, but one's effort put into their style and appearance are not the answer. In my mind, this is just another way of unjustly discriminating. My guess is that if poorly dressed people are jerks to you, it's because you're assuming that they're a lesser deserving person.

The writer of the article makes a few other fair points, but they still have an air of entitlement attached to them. Points like being prepared with backup orders, awareness of tip etiquette, and "never use change" have their merrits, but also have their downfalls. Unless people work in the industry, they just can't relate, and that's all there is to it. It's fine to give favor to customers who tip well, you like, or are regulars, but always remember, the reason you even have this job is to make sure people are having a good time. That's your business. And I almost guarantee you that the better your attitude and the more freely you treat everyone, the more business and tips you will make.

Tips are like a free research tool. If people like you, and like
the service, they'll tip, regardless of how they're dressed.

You may have gathered from this piece that I have a fair level of contempt for certain behaviors in the industry, enough so that most of my focus has been on the employee rather than the customer. I believe that if you want to fix something it's much easier to fix it from the professional end, than the consumer end. If you have a certain level of professionalism and follow the Golden Rule (treat others as you'd like to be treated), I can't promise that customers will always be perfect, but I know that good attitudes are infectious and self entitlement in customer service really bothers people. I mentioned I don't know whether this is a cure all or not, but at least being the calibre of person who treats others in a non judgmental way ensures that you can be proud of yourself, minimize conflicts, and make a boatload of tips.

Career Bartending part 1; How to Make a Pimpin' Resume

If you're a bartender looking to make their job into a career, you may have run into the problem of how to stand out from the other skilled bartenders in the industry. Let's face it, bartending isn't rocket science, and as such there are a ton of skilled bartenders, while there aren't that many rocket scientists. So how do you let every potential boss know how valuable you are?

First of all, if you're going to be serious about career bartending, ask yourself a few questions. What is your ideal bar to work in? Whether you're just starting out, or you've been in a couple of bars already, you most likely aren't in your perfect bar. When you think about this, make it unrealistically good. This is your fantasy bar, but also consider each element of the bar and either write it down or make a mental note of it. Another question you should ask is where you want to go from bartending. Make a short term, mid term, and long term goal. Think management, ownership, corporate, consultant, or any other intimidating businessey sounding words. Bartending at someone else's bar should not be the end of the line for you, right?

                                                            

(If you have photo proof of classy looking cocktails you've made

maybe including them could spice up your resume.)

With the answers to those questions in mind, what do you think the most important thing for accomplishing your goals is? Hopefully, you said something along the lines of 'experience'. Experience will do a number of things for you. It'll help you build a skill set, make connections, and get your brand out there....

New - Amazing Resumes!

That's right folks. I said 'your brand'. You're going to want to start thinking of yourself as your own business. Businesses that work on a consistent brand are a couple of steps ahead of the game. You need to be conscious of what your competitors have to offer, and what the industry expectations are, but most importantly, what makes you, you. Following the trends and dialogue of successful bartenders and bars will help you a great deal, but being true to yourself and figuring out the unique offerings that you possess will get you even farther.

(Image credit: Mashable.com... check out their
article on 7 creative social media resume designs.)

Your resume will often be the first impression that employers will get of the business that is you. This isn't to decrease the importance of meet and greets, drop-ins, or whatever other method you have of meeting before you hand off your resume. Sometimes physical resume drop offs are impossible, or the managers in charge of hiring don't accept drop-ins. It's at these times that either your resume will do most of the talking or you'll have to come up with some Mission Impossible delivery method to help you get behind security (that's a metaphor... hopefully the comparison is clear though).

Your resume should start off with your name and contact information, but directly below that start your work experience off immediately. Don't fall for the mistake of putting bartender, and then explaining what a bartender does. Everyone knows what a bartender does, and most of your competitors will be falling for that trap. If you're going to mention how busy your bar is, make sure you use sales or volume numbers, but try not to be too hung up on that. Briefly describe the restaurant or bar and include any information that might make you stand out from the pack, like management experience or other leadership responsibilities. If you managed your company's social media accounts, or have experience with Excel include that, but do not go overboard on details. This part of your resume should take no more than half of the page.

(Daisy Tang has an awesome resume at
www.holadaisy.com )

For the next section of your resume, it's all you. This is the part where you get to add a personal touch to your experience. Languages spoken is a good starting point, as well as relevant certificates and training programs. If you haven't done any certified programs, get onto it. There are always wine tasting courses available in large cities or online. Bartending and flair classes float around as well as general hospitality programs. If there are any bartending organizations in your city, region, or country, join them. If there are competitions, try out for those as well. Start a blog, youtube channel and personal website, and include all of those things in your resume. Try to volunteer at exhibition events, wineries, breweries or distilleries to get knowledge on the product end of things and include that on your resume as well. Build a skill set. Make it large. Make it professional. And make it easy to read.

Don't use flowery language to fill out your resume though. Keep it brief, and relevant. Let your skills speak for themselves, and keep your resume under a page, but not condensed to the point of being a page full of cluttered text. Think of it as a summary of your skills, and don't do so much explaining that you have nothing new to say during your interviews.

(It's hard to add style to a resume,
but QR codes can help convey a certain
level of creativity, professionalism,
and technological literacy.)

With your new resume crafted, start playing around with different ways of formatting the layout and font of your new document. Make something simple, aesthetically pleasing, and interesting to look at. Including a professional photo of you on the job can help as well. The style of your resume should mirror your own style and brand, as well as fit into the brand of the place you're applying to. If you do opt for the photo, make sure it's appropriate to the venue you're applying at. As for stylistic, or very design oriented resumes, there are a few awesome ideas out there, but make sure that if you're going to go this route that you can pull it off in a way that doesn't scream 'kindergarten art project'.

Your resume should now be a solid document, but nevertheless, have some people of different professional fields look over it. If you know any managers in hospitality show it to them. Hell, they might even offer you a job if they like what they see....

With this document in your possession, you should have a solid piece of paper that you can toss over the desk of a hiring manager and get a respectable response. Keep tweaking it once in awhile, and make necessary changes when you're applying to different sorts of places.

And also, stay tuned for the next in my series of blog articles on making a career out of bartending.